September 29, 2011

Annie: "The ant trap is working! I think the ants are all dead."

Will: "No, they have to carry the poison back to the queen ant first, and when she dies, then they all die."

Annie: "Well, maybe they're all lying on the ground and just thinking about dying."

Will: "An-NIE, ants don't think about dying."

Annie: "But they probably don't want to die. And they probably don't want their queen to die."

Will: "Well...they might be lying on the ground saying 'No! Not me! Not me! I don't want to die!'"

Annie: "And then they die."

Will: "And their queen dies."

Annie: "Then they really don't have a reason to live."

September 27, 2011

Annie: "Blond means that you have long hair."

Me: "No, it means that your hair is yellow."

Annie: "No. It means that you have long hair."

Me: "No, it means that your hair is yellow."

Annie: "No it doesn't."

Me: "I'm pretty sure it does."

Annie: "Well, maybe it means that your hair is long and yellow."

Me: "I think it just means that it's yellow."

Pause.

Annie: "Your hair is just like Rapunzel's."

September 27, 2011

At the Kung-Fu studio.

Will: "What does that sign say?"

Me: (Reading) "It's not about kicking butt. But it's a perk."

Will: "No, it says it's a nice perk."

Me: "If you can read it, why did you want me to read it?"

Will: "I wanted to make sure you could read it."

And later...

Will: "What if you had a guitar strapped to your back like a sword, and you made a hole in it, and then you put a sword through the hole."

Me: "Why would you want to do that?"

Will: "Well, then you could pull it out and kill people."

Me: "Sneaky. A surprise attack."

Will: "And you could play music for them, so maybe they would start dancing and then you could have an ally who could kill them while they danced."

Me: "I don't know if that would work."

Will: "Well, maybe if they were solo. People don't usually expect people who are solo to play music and then kill them."

Me: "No, they don't."

Will: "They could be freeze dancing. And they could play the 'I am the Iron Man' song to get them to dance.'"

Annie: "Will, if you played the 'I am the Iron Man' song, I would not dance."

Will: "If we did freeze dancing in Kung-Fu, I would be a superstar."

Me: "You're that good, huh?"

Will: "When I freeze dance, it's like I was frozen by an ice cube."

September 8, 2011

Me: "There are a lot of differences between dogs and humans. They can smell a lot better...just look at the size of their noses! And how about their ears?"
Annie: "They're big...and they can hear better than us."

Me: "And our ears?"

Annie: "They're small!"

Me: "Dogs have much smaller brains than humans, too. That's why we can think about so many things at the same time, and dogs can't."

Annie: "I know. The other day I was at RazzyFresh, and I was thinking about three things at the same time. I was thinking about playing Barbie up on the third floor, and dancing with Barbie, and singing with Barbie."

September 22, 2011

While walking back from the bus stop.

Me: "Okay, we're on the last leg of our walk!"

Will: "What does that mean?"

Me: "Well, sometimes when people are talking about going on a journey, they say that it has legs. There's a first leg, and sometimes a middle leg, and then a last leg."

Will: "Like aliens."

Me: "Like aliens?"

Will: "Yeah. They always have more than two legs. So it's like we're walking across an alien's legs."

Me: "...Yes."

September 22, 2011

Me: "Sometimes a princess becomes a queen. If she marries the older prince, then when the king dies, the prince becomes the king, and his wife becomes the queen."

Annie: "But why does the king die?"

Me: "Well, everyone dies."

Annie: "But not us."

Me: "Yes, we'll die too. But we don't need to talk about it, because it won't happen for a long time."

Annie: "Yeah, and the movie people will come."

Me: "The movie people?"

Annie: "A long time from now, the people in the movies will come and we'll go there."

Me: "So you're saying that when we die, we just switch places with people in movies?"

Annie: "Yes."

Me: "Huh. I guess I'm okay with that."

September 20, 2011

Annie: "My heart almost loves you."

September 20, 2011

Me: "How was school, Will? What did you do?"

Will: "I told my friend a sad story about kindergarten."

Me: "A sad story?"

Will: "About my girlfriend."

Me: "Your girlfriend? Can I hear the story?"

Will: "The characters are...Maya, me, and Nicolas."

Me: "Okay..."

Will: "Maya was my girlfriend in kindergarten. Nicolas is the bad guy in this story."
Me: "Got it."

Will: "Unfortunately, he stole my girlfriend."

Me: "Oh no! I'm so sorry."

Will: "There's a song too."

Me: "A song you made up?"

Will: "Yeah. But I don't want to sing it for you."

Me: "Okay. But if you ever feel like singing it, I'd love to hear it, and I bet Annie would too."

Annie nods.

Will: "Well, you might hear it on the radio."

Me: "On the radio?"

Will: "Yeah, when I grow up I want to be an actor."

Me: "An actor that sings?"

Will: "Yes."

Me: "And will you play any instruments?"

Will: "I think I'm going to sing while I play the violin."

Me: "I see."

Annie: "I'm going to be a ballerina when I grow up."

September 13, 2011

Post Kung-Fu, post trip to candy shop. While driving in the car.

Will: "We loved our old babysitter, Bridget."

Annie: "We looooooved her!"

Me: "I know, I can tell. You talk about her a lot. Sometimes it makes me sad."

Annie: "Why?"

Me: "Because I don't think you love me as much as you loved her."

Annie: "We love you."

Will: "We don't love you as much as we love her."

Me: "Well, maybe after I'm your nanny as long as her, you'll love me too."

Will: "Well...I think if you do nice things for us, we'll love you."

Me: "Like buy you candy?"

Will: "You should make us so happy, you don't even need to buy us candy. I want that to be your new goal."

September 9, 2011

Will: "Can you come to the bathroom? I need you to identify something."