Annie: "Cinderella, clean the floor!"
Me: "No. I won't do it."
Annie: "You have to do it!"
Me: "What will you do if I don't?"
Annie: "We'll kill you."
Me: "You wouldn't kill me..."
Annie: "Yes we will. We'll get a bomb and put it in the house, and then run out before it explodes."
October 11, 2011
Me: "Okay, we have carrot sticks and hummus, crackers, pretzels, and apples."
Will: "How come you said we have enough food to feed an army?"
Me: "Well, it was just as expression."
Will: "What's an expression?"
Me: "Sometimes people use phrases that aren't exactly true, but they give you a feeling about what they're trying to say. Like, when I say I have enough food for an army, what does it make you think?"
Will: "It makes me think you have an army somewhere closeby, and you have enough food to feed them."
Will: "How come you said we have enough food to feed an army?"
Me: "Well, it was just as expression."
Will: "What's an expression?"
Me: "Sometimes people use phrases that aren't exactly true, but they give you a feeling about what they're trying to say. Like, when I say I have enough food for an army, what does it make you think?"
Will: "It makes me think you have an army somewhere closeby, and you have enough food to feed them."
October 11, 2011
Annie: "Did you get a baby?"
Me: "A baby? You mean, do I have a baby?"
Annie: "Yes."
Me: "No, I don't have any babies."
Annie: "When are you going to get one?"
Me: "Well, when I find a husband, probably in a couple of years."
Annie: "You should start finding one now."
Me: "Oh really."
Annie: "Some women start looking for a man right away, for their family."
Me: "Are you going to start looking right away?"
Annie: "Yes."
Me: "And when will you start looking?"
Annie: "When I'm a woman."
Me: "A baby? You mean, do I have a baby?"
Annie: "Yes."
Me: "No, I don't have any babies."
Annie: "When are you going to get one?"
Me: "Well, when I find a husband, probably in a couple of years."
Annie: "You should start finding one now."
Me: "Oh really."
Annie: "Some women start looking for a man right away, for their family."
Me: "Are you going to start looking right away?"
Annie: "Yes."
Me: "And when will you start looking?"
Annie: "When I'm a woman."
October 6, 2011
Annie: "Are we going to die after Halloween?"
Me: "Why would you think that??"
Will: "Annie, we are not going to die after Halloween."
Annie: "Well, I think we will."
Will: "We are wayyy too young to die."
Annie: "Well, Halloween is wayyy too far away."
Will: "We're not going to die. Only old people die. We have years, and years, and years left. And years."
Me: "Why would you think that??"
Will: "Annie, we are not going to die after Halloween."
Annie: "Well, I think we will."
Will: "We are wayyy too young to die."
Annie: "Well, Halloween is wayyy too far away."
Will: "We're not going to die. Only old people die. We have years, and years, and years left. And years."
October 4, 2011
While walking, Annie in the stroller.
A flippie: tipping the stroller back so that only the back two wheels are on the ground.
Annie: "When are you going to do a flippie?"
Me: "I'm going to do it when you least expect it."
Annie: "I'm not expecting it."
Me: "I think you are."
Annie: "I amn't."
Me: "You amn't?"
Annie: "I am not."
Me: "Well, you're still thinking about it. When you're not thinking about it anymore, I'll do it."
Annie: "I'm not even thinking about it."
Me: "Are you sure?"
Annie: "I'm not thinking about it."
Me: "But you're still talking about it."
Pause.
Annie: "I'm not talking about it."
Pause.
Annie: "Why aren't you doing a flippie??"
Me: "When you stop asking questions about it, I'll do a flippie."
Pause.
Annie: "I'm not even asking questions anymore."
Me: "Are you still thinking about it?"
Annie: "No."
Me: "Are you sure?"
Pause.
Annie: "Can you do a flippie now? Please??"
A flippie: tipping the stroller back so that only the back two wheels are on the ground.
Annie: "When are you going to do a flippie?"
Me: "I'm going to do it when you least expect it."
Annie: "I'm not expecting it."
Me: "I think you are."
Annie: "I amn't."
Me: "You amn't?"
Annie: "I am not."
Me: "Well, you're still thinking about it. When you're not thinking about it anymore, I'll do it."
Annie: "I'm not even thinking about it."
Me: "Are you sure?"
Annie: "I'm not thinking about it."
Me: "But you're still talking about it."
Pause.
Annie: "I'm not talking about it."
Pause.
Annie: "Why aren't you doing a flippie??"
Me: "When you stop asking questions about it, I'll do a flippie."
Pause.
Annie: "I'm not even asking questions anymore."
Me: "Are you still thinking about it?"
Annie: "No."
Me: "Are you sure?"
Pause.
Annie: "Can you do a flippie now? Please??"
October 1, 2011
Me: "Goodnight, Will."
Will: "Goodnight. And here's the thing."
Me: "What?"
Will: "I wish my room--sometimes--was a birdcage."
Me: "A birdcage? Why a birdcage?"
Will: "Well, you know those bells in birdcages, that hang down?"
Me: "You think it would be fun to have those in your room?"
Will: "Yes."
Will: "Goodnight. And here's the thing."
Me: "What?"
Will: "I wish my room--sometimes--was a birdcage."
Me: "A birdcage? Why a birdcage?"
Will: "Well, you know those bells in birdcages, that hang down?"
Me: "You think it would be fun to have those in your room?"
Will: "Yes."
October 1, 2011
Annie: "What does this say?"
Me: (Reading label on cowboy hat) "Eddy, since 1939."
Will: "Who is Eddy?"
Me: "It's the name of the brand that made the hat."
Annie: "Why did Eddy make it?"
Will: "If I was going to make a hat, I would make a different kind."
Me: "What kind would you make?"
Will: "It would be a triple-stacker, so that when I threw it at the bad guys all the hats would fly apart but hit the same target."
Me: "And what would your hat look like, Annie?"
Annie: "A horse."
Me: (Reading label on cowboy hat) "Eddy, since 1939."
Will: "Who is Eddy?"
Me: "It's the name of the brand that made the hat."
Annie: "Why did Eddy make it?"
Will: "If I was going to make a hat, I would make a different kind."
Me: "What kind would you make?"
Will: "It would be a triple-stacker, so that when I threw it at the bad guys all the hats would fly apart but hit the same target."
Me: "And what would your hat look like, Annie?"
Annie: "A horse."
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