December 22, 2011
On Tuesday Annie and I discussed the cycle of water. I wasn't sure she had actually taken anything away from it. And then I got my Christmas card.
December 20, 2011
While watching "The Nutcracker" on TV.
Me: "Look, it's the sugar plum fairy! She's really pretty. And look at that dress...so pink!"
Annie: "Well, she's a ballerina, SILLY."
Me: "Do you have to be pretty to be a ballerina?"
Annie: "Nooo. You have to be pink."
Me: "Look, it's the sugar plum fairy! She's really pretty. And look at that dress...so pink!"
Annie: "Well, she's a ballerina, SILLY."
Me: "Do you have to be pretty to be a ballerina?"
Annie: "Nooo. You have to be pink."
December 15, 2011
Will wants an ipod touch for Christmas.
Will: "I could use it anywhere. I could use it on the bus, or at school, or on an airplane...anywhere. Except in the grave."
Annie: "Or in the swimming pool."
Will: "I could use it anywhere. I could use it on the bus, or at school, or on an airplane...anywhere. Except in the grave."
Annie: "Or in the swimming pool."
December 13, 2011
Will: "Santa gives bad kids nothing, right?"
Me: "Santa gives bad kids coal."
Will: "I think he gives them nothing."
Me: "Well, let's ask your mom."
Mom tells us that Santa gives bad kids coal.
Will: "Awwwww."
Mom: "Is coal worse than nothing?"
Will: "NO. Coal is better than nothing. You can still make toys out of coal. Bad kids should get nothing."
Me: "Santa gives bad kids coal."
Will: "I think he gives them nothing."
Me: "Well, let's ask your mom."
Mom tells us that Santa gives bad kids coal.
Will: "Awwwww."
Mom: "Is coal worse than nothing?"
Will: "NO. Coal is better than nothing. You can still make toys out of coal. Bad kids should get nothing."
December 1, 2011
Annie and I are playing with her doll. I am acting out the doll, and Annie is the mother.
Doll: Cries.
Annie: "Here, give her to me. I'll sing her a special song."
I hand the doll to Annie.
Annie: (Sings) "You can't always get what you want..."
Doll: Cries.
Annie: "Here, give her to me. I'll sing her a special song."
I hand the doll to Annie.
Annie: (Sings) "You can't always get what you want..."
December 1, 2011
Annie: "She looks sad."
Me: "Yeah, she does kind of."
Will: "I wonder why she's sad?"
Annie: "Maybe she's looking for a husband and all the boys are sold out."
November 29, 2011
Will: "I think I'm related to cats."
Me: "Really. What makes you say that?"
Will: "I just...share a lot of the same features. I like to sleep all curled up, and whenever I jump down from something I always land on my two feet. And I'm flexible."
Me: "Well, that doesn't necessarily mean you're related to cats."
Annie: "I'm related to cats too, except I'm actually related to kittens."
Me: "Is that so."
Annie: "Yeah, because I have all those same things, but I really love my mommy. "
Me: "Really. What makes you say that?"
Will: "I just...share a lot of the same features. I like to sleep all curled up, and whenever I jump down from something I always land on my two feet. And I'm flexible."
Me: "Well, that doesn't necessarily mean you're related to cats."
Annie: "I'm related to cats too, except I'm actually related to kittens."
Me: "Is that so."
Annie: "Yeah, because I have all those same things, but I really love my mommy. "
November 1, 2011
Me: "Okay, we can cross now. The little white man is telling us it's okay."
Annie: "The little white man used to be alive a long time ago. Then he died and now he's just in the sign. Right?"
Me: "Who told you that?"
Annie: "You did."
Annie: "The little white man used to be alive a long time ago. Then he died and now he's just in the sign. Right?"
Me: "Who told you that?"
Annie: "You did."
November 1, 2011
Me: "What do you want to do now?"
Annie: "Snuggle and cuddle."
Annie climbs onto my lap.
Me: "So how's my Annie?"
Annie: "I don't need to chat, too."
Annie: "Snuggle and cuddle."
Annie climbs onto my lap.
Me: "So how's my Annie?"
Annie: "I don't need to chat, too."
October 20, 2011
Annie: "Cinderella, clean the floor!"
Me: "No. I won't do it."
Annie: "You have to do it!"
Me: "What will you do if I don't?"
Annie: "We'll kill you."
Me: "You wouldn't kill me..."
Annie: "Yes we will. We'll get a bomb and put it in the house, and then run out before it explodes."
Me: "No. I won't do it."
Annie: "You have to do it!"
Me: "What will you do if I don't?"
Annie: "We'll kill you."
Me: "You wouldn't kill me..."
Annie: "Yes we will. We'll get a bomb and put it in the house, and then run out before it explodes."
October 11, 2011
Me: "Okay, we have carrot sticks and hummus, crackers, pretzels, and apples."
Will: "How come you said we have enough food to feed an army?"
Me: "Well, it was just as expression."
Will: "What's an expression?"
Me: "Sometimes people use phrases that aren't exactly true, but they give you a feeling about what they're trying to say. Like, when I say I have enough food for an army, what does it make you think?"
Will: "It makes me think you have an army somewhere closeby, and you have enough food to feed them."
Will: "How come you said we have enough food to feed an army?"
Me: "Well, it was just as expression."
Will: "What's an expression?"
Me: "Sometimes people use phrases that aren't exactly true, but they give you a feeling about what they're trying to say. Like, when I say I have enough food for an army, what does it make you think?"
Will: "It makes me think you have an army somewhere closeby, and you have enough food to feed them."
October 11, 2011
Annie: "Did you get a baby?"
Me: "A baby? You mean, do I have a baby?"
Annie: "Yes."
Me: "No, I don't have any babies."
Annie: "When are you going to get one?"
Me: "Well, when I find a husband, probably in a couple of years."
Annie: "You should start finding one now."
Me: "Oh really."
Annie: "Some women start looking for a man right away, for their family."
Me: "Are you going to start looking right away?"
Annie: "Yes."
Me: "And when will you start looking?"
Annie: "When I'm a woman."
Me: "A baby? You mean, do I have a baby?"
Annie: "Yes."
Me: "No, I don't have any babies."
Annie: "When are you going to get one?"
Me: "Well, when I find a husband, probably in a couple of years."
Annie: "You should start finding one now."
Me: "Oh really."
Annie: "Some women start looking for a man right away, for their family."
Me: "Are you going to start looking right away?"
Annie: "Yes."
Me: "And when will you start looking?"
Annie: "When I'm a woman."
October 6, 2011
Annie: "Are we going to die after Halloween?"
Me: "Why would you think that??"
Will: "Annie, we are not going to die after Halloween."
Annie: "Well, I think we will."
Will: "We are wayyy too young to die."
Annie: "Well, Halloween is wayyy too far away."
Will: "We're not going to die. Only old people die. We have years, and years, and years left. And years."
Me: "Why would you think that??"
Will: "Annie, we are not going to die after Halloween."
Annie: "Well, I think we will."
Will: "We are wayyy too young to die."
Annie: "Well, Halloween is wayyy too far away."
Will: "We're not going to die. Only old people die. We have years, and years, and years left. And years."
October 4, 2011
While walking, Annie in the stroller.
A flippie: tipping the stroller back so that only the back two wheels are on the ground.
Annie: "When are you going to do a flippie?"
Me: "I'm going to do it when you least expect it."
Annie: "I'm not expecting it."
Me: "I think you are."
Annie: "I amn't."
Me: "You amn't?"
Annie: "I am not."
Me: "Well, you're still thinking about it. When you're not thinking about it anymore, I'll do it."
Annie: "I'm not even thinking about it."
Me: "Are you sure?"
Annie: "I'm not thinking about it."
Me: "But you're still talking about it."
Pause.
Annie: "I'm not talking about it."
Pause.
Annie: "Why aren't you doing a flippie??"
Me: "When you stop asking questions about it, I'll do a flippie."
Pause.
Annie: "I'm not even asking questions anymore."
Me: "Are you still thinking about it?"
Annie: "No."
Me: "Are you sure?"
Pause.
Annie: "Can you do a flippie now? Please??"
A flippie: tipping the stroller back so that only the back two wheels are on the ground.
Annie: "When are you going to do a flippie?"
Me: "I'm going to do it when you least expect it."
Annie: "I'm not expecting it."
Me: "I think you are."
Annie: "I amn't."
Me: "You amn't?"
Annie: "I am not."
Me: "Well, you're still thinking about it. When you're not thinking about it anymore, I'll do it."
Annie: "I'm not even thinking about it."
Me: "Are you sure?"
Annie: "I'm not thinking about it."
Me: "But you're still talking about it."
Pause.
Annie: "I'm not talking about it."
Pause.
Annie: "Why aren't you doing a flippie??"
Me: "When you stop asking questions about it, I'll do a flippie."
Pause.
Annie: "I'm not even asking questions anymore."
Me: "Are you still thinking about it?"
Annie: "No."
Me: "Are you sure?"
Pause.
Annie: "Can you do a flippie now? Please??"
October 1, 2011
Me: "Goodnight, Will."
Will: "Goodnight. And here's the thing."
Me: "What?"
Will: "I wish my room--sometimes--was a birdcage."
Me: "A birdcage? Why a birdcage?"
Will: "Well, you know those bells in birdcages, that hang down?"
Me: "You think it would be fun to have those in your room?"
Will: "Yes."
Will: "Goodnight. And here's the thing."
Me: "What?"
Will: "I wish my room--sometimes--was a birdcage."
Me: "A birdcage? Why a birdcage?"
Will: "Well, you know those bells in birdcages, that hang down?"
Me: "You think it would be fun to have those in your room?"
Will: "Yes."
October 1, 2011
Annie: "What does this say?"
Me: (Reading label on cowboy hat) "Eddy, since 1939."
Will: "Who is Eddy?"
Me: "It's the name of the brand that made the hat."
Annie: "Why did Eddy make it?"
Will: "If I was going to make a hat, I would make a different kind."
Me: "What kind would you make?"
Will: "It would be a triple-stacker, so that when I threw it at the bad guys all the hats would fly apart but hit the same target."
Me: "And what would your hat look like, Annie?"
Annie: "A horse."
Me: (Reading label on cowboy hat) "Eddy, since 1939."
Will: "Who is Eddy?"
Me: "It's the name of the brand that made the hat."
Annie: "Why did Eddy make it?"
Will: "If I was going to make a hat, I would make a different kind."
Me: "What kind would you make?"
Will: "It would be a triple-stacker, so that when I threw it at the bad guys all the hats would fly apart but hit the same target."
Me: "And what would your hat look like, Annie?"
Annie: "A horse."
September 29, 2011
Annie: "The ant trap is working! I think the ants are all dead."
Will: "No, they have to carry the poison back to the queen ant first, and when she dies, then they all die."
Annie: "Well, maybe they're all lying on the ground and just thinking about dying."
Will: "An-NIE, ants don't think about dying."
Annie: "But they probably don't want to die. And they probably don't want their queen to die."
Will: "Well...they might be lying on the ground saying 'No! Not me! Not me! I don't want to die!'"
Annie: "And then they die."
Will: "And their queen dies."
Annie: "Then they really don't have a reason to live."
Will: "No, they have to carry the poison back to the queen ant first, and when she dies, then they all die."
Annie: "Well, maybe they're all lying on the ground and just thinking about dying."
Will: "An-NIE, ants don't think about dying."
Annie: "But they probably don't want to die. And they probably don't want their queen to die."
Will: "Well...they might be lying on the ground saying 'No! Not me! Not me! I don't want to die!'"
Annie: "And then they die."
Will: "And their queen dies."
Annie: "Then they really don't have a reason to live."
September 27, 2011
Annie: "Blond means that you have long hair."
Me: "No, it means that your hair is yellow."
Annie: "No. It means that you have long hair."
Me: "No, it means that your hair is yellow."
Annie: "No it doesn't."
Me: "I'm pretty sure it does."
Annie: "Well, maybe it means that your hair is long and yellow."
Me: "I think it just means that it's yellow."
Pause.
Annie: "Your hair is just like Rapunzel's."
Me: "No, it means that your hair is yellow."
Annie: "No. It means that you have long hair."
Me: "No, it means that your hair is yellow."
Annie: "No it doesn't."
Me: "I'm pretty sure it does."
Annie: "Well, maybe it means that your hair is long and yellow."
Me: "I think it just means that it's yellow."
Pause.
Annie: "Your hair is just like Rapunzel's."
September 27, 2011
At the Kung-Fu studio.
Will: "What does that sign say?"
Me: (Reading) "It's not about kicking butt. But it's a perk."
Will: "No, it says it's a nice perk."
Me: "If you can read it, why did you want me to read it?"
Will: "I wanted to make sure you could read it."
And later...
Will: "What if you had a guitar strapped to your back like a sword, and you made a hole in it, and then you put a sword through the hole."
Me: "Why would you want to do that?"
Will: "Well, then you could pull it out and kill people."
Me: "Sneaky. A surprise attack."
Will: "And you could play music for them, so maybe they would start dancing and then you could have an ally who could kill them while they danced."
Me: "I don't know if that would work."
Will: "Well, maybe if they were solo. People don't usually expect people who are solo to play music and then kill them."
Me: "No, they don't."
Will: "They could be freeze dancing. And they could play the 'I am the Iron Man' song to get them to dance.'"
Annie: "Will, if you played the 'I am the Iron Man' song, I would not dance."
Will: "If we did freeze dancing in Kung-Fu, I would be a superstar."
Me: "You're that good, huh?"
Will: "When I freeze dance, it's like I was frozen by an ice cube."
Will: "What does that sign say?"
Me: (Reading) "It's not about kicking butt. But it's a perk."
Will: "No, it says it's a nice perk."
Me: "If you can read it, why did you want me to read it?"
Will: "I wanted to make sure you could read it."
And later...
Will: "What if you had a guitar strapped to your back like a sword, and you made a hole in it, and then you put a sword through the hole."
Me: "Why would you want to do that?"
Will: "Well, then you could pull it out and kill people."
Me: "Sneaky. A surprise attack."
Will: "And you could play music for them, so maybe they would start dancing and then you could have an ally who could kill them while they danced."
Me: "I don't know if that would work."
Will: "Well, maybe if they were solo. People don't usually expect people who are solo to play music and then kill them."
Me: "No, they don't."
Will: "They could be freeze dancing. And they could play the 'I am the Iron Man' song to get them to dance.'"
Annie: "Will, if you played the 'I am the Iron Man' song, I would not dance."
Will: "If we did freeze dancing in Kung-Fu, I would be a superstar."
Me: "You're that good, huh?"
Will: "When I freeze dance, it's like I was frozen by an ice cube."
September 8, 2011
Me: "There are a lot of differences between dogs and humans. They can smell a lot better...just look at the size of their noses! And how about their ears?"
Annie: "They're big...and they can hear better than us."
Me: "And our ears?"
Annie: "They're small!"
Me: "Dogs have much smaller brains than humans, too. That's why we can think about so many things at the same time, and dogs can't."
Annie: "I know. The other day I was at RazzyFresh, and I was thinking about three things at the same time. I was thinking about playing Barbie up on the third floor, and dancing with Barbie, and singing with Barbie."
Annie: "They're big...and they can hear better than us."
Me: "And our ears?"
Annie: "They're small!"
Me: "Dogs have much smaller brains than humans, too. That's why we can think about so many things at the same time, and dogs can't."
Annie: "I know. The other day I was at RazzyFresh, and I was thinking about three things at the same time. I was thinking about playing Barbie up on the third floor, and dancing with Barbie, and singing with Barbie."
September 22, 2011
While walking back from the bus stop.
Me: "Okay, we're on the last leg of our walk!"
Will: "What does that mean?"
Me: "Well, sometimes when people are talking about going on a journey, they say that it has legs. There's a first leg, and sometimes a middle leg, and then a last leg."
Will: "Like aliens."
Me: "Like aliens?"
Will: "Yeah. They always have more than two legs. So it's like we're walking across an alien's legs."
Me: "...Yes."
Me: "Okay, we're on the last leg of our walk!"
Will: "What does that mean?"
Me: "Well, sometimes when people are talking about going on a journey, they say that it has legs. There's a first leg, and sometimes a middle leg, and then a last leg."
Will: "Like aliens."
Me: "Like aliens?"
Will: "Yeah. They always have more than two legs. So it's like we're walking across an alien's legs."
Me: "...Yes."
September 22, 2011
Me: "Sometimes a princess becomes a queen. If she marries the older prince, then when the king dies, the prince becomes the king, and his wife becomes the queen."
Annie: "But why does the king die?"
Me: "Well, everyone dies."
Annie: "But not us."
Me: "Yes, we'll die too. But we don't need to talk about it, because it won't happen for a long time."
Annie: "Yeah, and the movie people will come."
Me: "The movie people?"
Annie: "A long time from now, the people in the movies will come and we'll go there."
Me: "So you're saying that when we die, we just switch places with people in movies?"
Annie: "Yes."
Me: "Huh. I guess I'm okay with that."
Annie: "But why does the king die?"
Me: "Well, everyone dies."
Annie: "But not us."
Me: "Yes, we'll die too. But we don't need to talk about it, because it won't happen for a long time."
Annie: "Yeah, and the movie people will come."
Me: "The movie people?"
Annie: "A long time from now, the people in the movies will come and we'll go there."
Me: "So you're saying that when we die, we just switch places with people in movies?"
Annie: "Yes."
Me: "Huh. I guess I'm okay with that."
September 20, 2011
Me: "How was school, Will? What did you do?"
Will: "I told my friend a sad story about kindergarten."
Me: "A sad story?"
Will: "About my girlfriend."
Me: "Your girlfriend? Can I hear the story?"
Will: "The characters are...Maya, me, and Nicolas."
Me: "Okay..."
Will: "Maya was my girlfriend in kindergarten. Nicolas is the bad guy in this story."
Me: "Got it."
Will: "Unfortunately, he stole my girlfriend."
Me: "Oh no! I'm so sorry."
Will: "There's a song too."
Me: "A song you made up?"
Will: "Yeah. But I don't want to sing it for you."
Me: "Okay. But if you ever feel like singing it, I'd love to hear it, and I bet Annie would too."
Annie nods.
Will: "Well, you might hear it on the radio."
Me: "On the radio?"
Will: "Yeah, when I grow up I want to be an actor."
Me: "An actor that sings?"
Will: "Yes."
Me: "And will you play any instruments?"
Will: "I think I'm going to sing while I play the violin."
Me: "I see."
Annie: "I'm going to be a ballerina when I grow up."
Will: "I told my friend a sad story about kindergarten."
Me: "A sad story?"
Will: "About my girlfriend."
Me: "Your girlfriend? Can I hear the story?"
Will: "The characters are...Maya, me, and Nicolas."
Me: "Okay..."
Will: "Maya was my girlfriend in kindergarten. Nicolas is the bad guy in this story."
Me: "Got it."
Will: "Unfortunately, he stole my girlfriend."
Me: "Oh no! I'm so sorry."
Will: "There's a song too."
Me: "A song you made up?"
Will: "Yeah. But I don't want to sing it for you."
Me: "Okay. But if you ever feel like singing it, I'd love to hear it, and I bet Annie would too."
Annie nods.
Will: "Well, you might hear it on the radio."
Me: "On the radio?"
Will: "Yeah, when I grow up I want to be an actor."
Me: "An actor that sings?"
Will: "Yes."
Me: "And will you play any instruments?"
Will: "I think I'm going to sing while I play the violin."
Me: "I see."
Annie: "I'm going to be a ballerina when I grow up."
September 13, 2011
Post Kung-Fu, post trip to candy shop. While driving in the car.
Will: "We loved our old babysitter, Bridget."
Annie: "We looooooved her!"
Me: "I know, I can tell. You talk about her a lot. Sometimes it makes me sad."
Annie: "Why?"
Me: "Because I don't think you love me as much as you loved her."
Annie: "We love you."
Will: "We don't love you as much as we love her."
Me: "Well, maybe after I'm your nanny as long as her, you'll love me too."
Will: "Well...I think if you do nice things for us, we'll love you."
Me: "Like buy you candy?"
Will: "You should make us so happy, you don't even need to buy us candy. I want that to be your new goal."
Will: "We loved our old babysitter, Bridget."
Annie: "We looooooved her!"
Me: "I know, I can tell. You talk about her a lot. Sometimes it makes me sad."
Annie: "Why?"
Me: "Because I don't think you love me as much as you loved her."
Annie: "We love you."
Will: "We don't love you as much as we love her."
Me: "Well, maybe after I'm your nanny as long as her, you'll love me too."
Will: "Well...I think if you do nice things for us, we'll love you."
Me: "Like buy you candy?"
Will: "You should make us so happy, you don't even need to buy us candy. I want that to be your new goal."
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